I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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