if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize