She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think a kid would responsible me up
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
