so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
