I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
