Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize