did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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