is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
