found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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