on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
