Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
