im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
