I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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