He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
