he wants to bone in the snuggie
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
