Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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