You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
