According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
