i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
