you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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