can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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