i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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