i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
