some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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