Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
