Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
