if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
