I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I checked into jail on foursquare
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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