I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
