It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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