Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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