i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
