Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
