So drunk its hurt
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
