Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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