Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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