I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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