my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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