I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
