My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
