Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
