YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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