I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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