I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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