So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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