We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Shame is for Republicans.
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