i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
