See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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