i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
