Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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