I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
