i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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