I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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