ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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