sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
