At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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