my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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