I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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