You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize