Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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